Hey Lucy

Ok, you might not find this funny AT ALL, but I think it’s tragic and hilarious.

Hey Lucy – Watch more Funny Videos

This was floating around Facebook tonight, and some of the comments ranged from “This is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen” to “sorry, I understand sarcastic humour where something is sooo bad it’s funny, but really… this is JUST SHIT! There’s nothing funny or ironic about it whatsoever. Seriously… it’s bad, off the charts.”

Humor is subjective. Not everyone’s going to like everything.

All I can argue is why I find it so funny, and make a little comment about comedy in general.

Now, mind you, I don’t have a degree from Humber or anything, so I’m no expert, I’m just going on my experience and my instinct here… I also can’t sleep.

Some humor is grounded wordplay, gags and surprises. It engages your mind.

Some humor is grounded in empathy. It engages your heart and your gut.

The best is usually a combination of the two.

This video, for me, plays to my feelings of empathy and the awesome tragedy of humanity.

The guy who made this is clearly in love with this Lucy person, and has gone to such an extreme to try and express his love, but he’s failed so miserably. It’s an awful video (albeit somewhat catchy. I can’t seem to stop playing it) but he’s obviously put some effort into it. It must have taken him some real thought and time. He didn’t know he’d come off as some kind of stalker. I’m pretty sure that was far from his intent. Now, I can only speak for myself, but I’ve been in this guy’s position. I’ve never gone so far as to make a music video declaring my unrequited love, but I’ve felt this guy’s pain.

I know where he’s coming from.

For example: A show like The Office was a cringe inducing, awkward comedy. But at the end of the day, David Brent was a good guy, with a good heart, he just couldn’t express himself. He tried too hard. He just wanted to be accepted, loved and validated. But all his attempts at getting any of that ended up making him look like a fool and a jerk. But you rooted for him. You wanted him to be accepted in the end. Maybe you didn’t, but I genuinely believe that deep down, that was the point. That was his subtext.

I think a good comedy engages the audience, it gives you someone to identify with and root for. But they must always fail. Until the end… Except in the darker comedies, where the hero fails even when you think they’re going to win.

I could cite a few examples of comedies that didn’t engage me, but certainly engaged a lot of people. I mean, I think that ultimately, you try to be true to yourself, and write from the heart. But not everyone is going to like it. Again, it’s all subjective. If you’re lucky, and intuitive, you’ll engage enough people. But if you try to force it, you’ll fail. I hear the word “heart” being thrown around a lot these days in terms of what the networks are looking for… But I don’t think some people really understand what that means. To me, this has heart.

So… Back to the video. I also imagine poor Lucy on the receiving end, and what her reaction must have been. Horror? Shock? Embarrassment?

Since it’s leaked onto the internet, I’m guessing she wasn’t swept of her feet, and I imagine she thought it was hilarious and posted it only to humiliate the guy. So in the end, he doesn’t really deserve her. That’s me justifying shit so I don’t feel so bad about laughing at someone’s misfortune (I’m also trying to find some way of making the guy a hero). But there you go…

I mean, if it was a friend of mine, I probably wouldn’t laugh at it. I don’t know what that says… That’s a whole other issue.



It’s Christmas, hide your belt and your shoelaces

Yes, it’s that time of year where everyone is miserable as hell. What? Did you think you were the only one? Nope, sorry to tell you this, but everyone hates their lives right now.

Those smiles you see on people’s faces on the street? They’re just barely containing the misery and the rage.

Everyone is just keeping it together right about now.

So, put on a warmish coat, pull on your rain boots and plaster on that gigantic fake grin and go see the people you call your family.

And if you’re alone on Christmas, and you’re depressed about that… Well, let me just say that I know it’s hard to believe, but all those people you see having a good time, are full of shit and secretly they envy you. Enjoy the quiet.

Happy Holidays.

We will survive.


Porter Airlines

Besides Olivia Chow, is anyone really against Porter Airlines starting up the the Island Airport again? Has anyone asked the people who live near there?

It seems to me the people who have a problem with the airline aren’t the people who live anywhere near the waterfront.

I went to school on the island (no, I didn’t live on the island, and yes, I took a ferry to school every day for three years) and we never heard the planes.

Personally, I hate flying… And most of what I hate about flying is Pearson. That airport is a nightmare. It’s like a gigantic sprawling airport mall… From hell. “Hell Mall Airport”. And for the sensitive few who have panic disorders, that place causes a 10 on the sids scale (shout out to my fellow pd sufferers).

For people like me, who want to spend less time at the airport than time spent on the actual flight, I say bring it on!

Now, I have no plans to fly to Ottawa any time soon, but as soon as they start flying to Montreal and New York, you can count me in.

And how awesome would it be to walk to the plane? I mean, you walk out onto the tarmac (or whatever the hell it’s called) and walk up the steps… Like an old movie!  And I’ll bet the chances of them losing your luggage are 0% because you’re putting the luggage on the plane, yourself! Like a bus!

It’s like a big flying bus, people!

Bye bye Pearson.

Anyway, my message is this:

Dear Olivia Chow, I voted for you. Please… Shut up. There are a lot more important matters that require your attention… Like anything…
Besides, how could you boycott anything that has this little fella for a mascot?

Look at him!!! HE’S SO FUCKIN’ CUTE!!

The World Ends… TODAY!

According to Texas based fanatical religious group The House of Yahweh, Nuclear War will break out today and it will last 13 months until “the final burning blast that darkens the sun”…

Here’s a slightly dull video, made a month ago, by their leader (or “overseer”), Yisrayl Hawkins, which explains everything… Sort of. Did I mention that it’s slightly dull? I wasn’t paying full attention.

Anyway, there’s no need to panic, I’m pretty sure the world isn’t going to end today.

I’m no expert, so you shouldn’t listen to me, but then again, I’m probably 5% less crazy than that guy, so maybe you should.

Here’s my 5% less crazy prophecy:

“The world sucks, and will continue to suck, but it will never end, because the things that really fucking suck, never end.”

– From the blog of Matthew.

Hey, I’m not bad at this… Flock to me, my children!

And bring pie!


Dirty Old Man

From Reuters:

A 76-year-old man claiming to be a doctor went door-to-door in a Florida neighborhood offering free breast exams, and was charged with sexually assaulting two women who accepted the offer, police said on Thursday.

I’m having so many conflicting thoughts. Sure, what he did was wrong… But… It’s also kind of brilliant… I mean, if i make it to 76, i’ll probably throw caution to the wind and do whatever the fuck i want. Who’s going to tell me what i can and can’t do. i’m 76! Fuck you! I’m shooting heroin and posing as a breast inspector!

The other thing is this:

At least two women, both in their 30s, let him into their homes and he fondled and sexually assaulted them, the investigators said.

and this:

One woman became suspicious after the man asked her to remove all her clothes and began conducting a purported genital exam without donning rubber gloves, investigators said.

No offence, but if you’re dumb enough to let a 76-year-old man into your house, who claims to be a “Breast Inspector”, and you only get suspicious after you let him inspect your GENITALS, and it’s only because he WASN’T WEARING RUBBER GLOVES…

Well, then i say good for him, the dirty old coot: