Last Thursday and Friday we recorded episodes 2 & 3. They were long days, but the whole thing went rather well, I thought.

The cast and crew all did a great job. Peter Wildman of The Frantics came in and was a blast to have around… I had an odd moment where I told him about listening to The Frantics in the car with my dad, when I was a kid on the way to Karate classes… It made me realize how much Radio Drama has actually played a part in my development as a writer.

My dad used to buy me tapes of old time radio shows… The Shadow, Green Hornet, episodes of Suspense. Burns & Allen, Jack Benny… And then there was Hitchhiker’s Guide… Man, that series changed my life. Then, when I discovered the Goon Show, it was like finding god… Or what I imagine finding god would be like.

I have no real comparison.

Maybe some people find God, while others find Spike Milligan.

So, here I am, working on the outline for episode 7 of this series, and I’ve hit a wall.

I’m stuck, I’m second guessing, and I’m completely discouraged.

This in particular really has me nervous.

I’m a big fan of “you write for yourself” which is precisely what I’m doing here. I’m writing for myself… While hoping that other people share my sense of humor.

But I’m suddenly very aware of how much CBC listeners LOVE to give negative feedback. It’s their right, of course, because they pay for the programming. But they forget sometimes that not every program has to appeal to everyone.

There have been MANY CBC shows, both on radio and on television, that I’ve disliked. But I would never activly campaign to have them taken off the air, because other people like it… It’s not for me. That’s fine, there’s other stuff for me.

I’m trying to keep that in mind, while trying to brace myself for the negativity that comes with the territory when you work for a publicly funded organization.

But at the same time, I’m completely second guessing everything I’ve written, because there’s that part of me that doesn’t want to deal with the negative feedback. I don’t want people to hate it.

The ability to be anonymous has given people a place to hide… It allows them to air their complaints without being held accountable… And man, they don’t hold back.

I just have to keep reminding myself that I’m writing the best show I can, and it’s making me laugh.

But on the public’s dime.

I also have to ignore a certain friend who likes to remind me that this kind of schedule was actually responsible for one of Spike Milligan’s many breakdowns, and at one point was writing The Goon Show strapped to a hospital bed.

Anyway…

That was some BSG finalé, huh?

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Episode five is written. Four episodes in four weeks. I barely leave the house, and when I do, it’s to walk the dog. I’m starting to feel like this:

Twice a day, I take the same route, past California Sanwiches. I imagine the people in there saying, “Hey, there’s that crazy guy walking his dog again.”

I can only imagine what I look like. Muttering to myself. Smoke in one hand, bag of shit in the other.

That’s the real difference between me and The Road Warrior. He’s not carrying around his dog’s shit.

That and the whole, “liberating a group of post-apocalyptic survivors from tyrannical gas bandits” thing.

Next week should be interesting, since we’ll be in studio for two days…

My neighbours probably think I’m crazy too, since I barely sleep and I bump into them at all times of the day.

I always wondered about that…

“What does he do? He’s outside having a smoke at seven in the morning, then he’s walking his dog at eleven, then he’s still up all day… And he hardly leaves the house… And then he’s out there having a smoke at four in the morning…”

Then I realize that no one really pays attention or cares. It’s just me imagining that I’m more interesting than I really am.

Like this post, for example. I can’t imagine anything more self-indulgent or long winded.

Except the show I’m writing.

Heh.

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Holy shit, I’ve written three episodes in three weeks.

And it doesn’t end. I’m co-writing two, and then still have four more to write on top of that.

We start recording in two weeks.

How CRAZY IS THAT?

It’s going to be insane. I’m going to be so fried and burned out.

Tell you one thing though…

I’m having a fuckin’ blast.

And so far the episodes are pretty funny, if I do say so myself… Something about not having much time to question your choices.

I think all writers should go through something like this at least once. You know, just forced to crank out the material… I’m actually surprised at what’s coming out of me. Like a great comedic clense…

Of course, in three weeks I’ll probably be praying for death…

But that will be charming in it’s own way.

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