Bono, The Hip Nip and AD

If a looming vote of non-confidence, the resulting election campaign, and being accused of working with “organized crime” wasn’t enough for Paul Martin to deal with, Bono had to waltz in and say that The Prime Minister “mystifies” him for not contributing more to foreign aid.

What “mystifies” me is: When did Bono turn into the world’s telemarketer? Seriously, Bono, fuck off and come back when things aren’t so crazy.

Pat Morita died yesterday at 72. Obviously he meant a lot to me as Mr. Miyagi, but ultimately, I’ll always remember him as Arnold, from Happy Days.

There’s a great obituary over at

After the war, he began his career in performance, first trying out the world of standup comedy under the alias “The Hip Nip.”

I know what you’re thinking, “How awful… The Hip Nip.”

I’d like to think that we’ve progressed enough as a society that we can contextualize the title and laugh at the absurdity of it. Hell, I think it should be on his tombstone, “Here lies The Hip Nip.”

Unfortunately, I know that we haven’t progressed an inch since WWII and that we’re still a bunch of racists. Did you not see the very important film, “Crash”? It’s about racism and how we’re all racists.

What? You fell asleep while watching it?

Yeah, me too.

By the way, it says, “balls” on your face.

RIP. Mr. Morita. Thanks for teaching Hilary Swank how to fight. Sorry that Clint Eastwood ruined everything by training her so badly he had to euthanize her.

Finally, here’s a great interview with Michael Cera (Arrested Development’s George Michael) that made me laugh out loud several times.

Here’s the thing: they are just filthy jokes, but you have to have a certain amount of intelligence to decipher them and know that it’s just a dirty penis joke. But when it gets right down to it, that’s what it is.

Oh my god, he’s right! All this time I’ve been laughing at penis jokes…

Fuck, that makes it funnier.