Matthew waits…

I spend about 80% of my time waiting. I’ve figured it out. I know math.

I’ve been working on this pilot for CBC Television for almost two years now… I’m factoring (that’s a math expression) in the year that was lost with the old head of drama…

Over the last year, i’ve handed in draft after draft… And now we come to the hardest part of all of this.

There’s a very slim chance that this pilot could get shot before the end of the year.

It’s not just this project that I’m waiting to hear on. I’ve also got in something with the radio drama department… I’m waiting to hear about that…

So, I’m waiting… It seems like I’m always waiting… For “people to make decisions”.

That’s the worst of it. If you’re waiting for a friend or a bus or something, it’s different… I don’t know why, maybe because you’r only waiting for minutes… not weeks or months.

But “people making decisions” that’s tougher, I think. You know, people reading your stuff… Thinking it over. Taking their time. Or not. Not reading it until the last minute, but still making you wait.

I dunno, maybe i’m being overly dramatic.

I’m spending a lot of time reflecting on my life, these days, as i wait… and i realize that i’ve spent a lot of time waiting, and being bored.

fuck i hate being bored.

I should probably spend my time working on something else… You know, write some other project so that if/when I get my answer, and it’s “NO” (which i’ve calculated out to be a risk factor of 8 – i know math) then I have something else to work on… But for some reason, this last project has taken up so much of my time and energy and shit, that I’m not really inspired to work on anything else.

you know what i’m also waiting for?

to get paid.

that’s a whole other kind of suck.